Great minds think alike.

So as you know, Cookie Professor (Thanks for the great name, Blogging To a Better Bonnie!) and I have been flirting back and forth for a while now. But we don't see each other every day. And sometimes a week will go by before one of us does something for the other. But apparently we both decided yesterday was a good day to flirt.



So I carried out my plan with the sugar. Although I couldn't drum up anything clever enough to pass my super critical standards. So I put a measuring cup full of exactly one cup of sugar tied with curled ribbon in a Halloween bag with no note. And I gave it to a girl friend of mine who just happens to be in his class right now. And I knew when she gave it to him, he would know exactly who it was from, and it wouldn't need a note.



So after school that afternoon, she came to me in the parking lot. And I was kind of anxious to hear about his reaction. She told me he didn't look inside the bag with her standing there. But later he did sneak her the container I gave him with cookies about a week ago. So handed it to me. Now, its a clear container, and I thought it was empty. But when I got home, I saw that there was another envelope taped to the lid so no one could see it when the container was closed.



I was so excited and nervous at the same time I didn't know what to do at first. I sat it on the table in front of me and considered not opening it. I guess I was scared it was something negative! Of course I would want to read it if it were more flirting. But there was a part of me that was worried that he might be telling me that I've been totally inappropriate and that I'm a student and I shouldn't bake for him or write him anymore. But it was addressed to "Cookie Babe". That's still flirtatious! How could it be negative with him being so playful?



Of course I was just being paranoid and over analyzing things as usual. I can't recite it verbatim, and I'm at work, so its not here with me. But the card said something about how he wants me to come check in with him after I leave him. (the words leave me were emphasized with underlines and whatnot) Then it said "You make my day!!" and the two exclamation marks had a half circle under them turning them into smiley faces. Which I thought was cheesy and sweet. So here goes my over analysis again. He didn't say 'you made my day' like past tense. As in, when I gave him the cookies, that day I had made. He said it present tense. Like I MAKE his day, more often then once. And also, if this was innocent and playful, he would have no reason to hide it. But he had taped up the envelope so no one else could see it was there. As in, he could get in trouble for it. Implying that his intentions are the same as mine, and not so innocent.



So I have the card sitting next to the last. I'm starting a collection. I don't know what to do next. Wait it out, I guess. Usually, I'll do something, then the ball is in his court. Or vise versa. But this time, we did something on the same day. So whose turn is it? I don't know. I'm just gonna give it a week or two and see what happens. The next three weeks in school will be really hard for me, anyway. You'll probably be hearing a lot about that coming up. To those who read, thanks so much for your support and kind words!

Cookie professor update.

I haven't written anything lately about the cookie professor, because there isn't really much to say. Ever since I gave him the card, I've been so nervous that I've avoided him like the plague! I mean, I've had to run into him from time to time, but I hardly even look at him. I guess I really just needed time to cope with what I did. You see, its hard for me to be brave enough to admit feelings. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. Fear of rejection, I guess. But my sister was cursed with the same ailment. She may even have it worse, since she'll date a man for literally YEARS before admitting its a relationship. Anyway, thats beside the point.

Back to the point. A few days ago, Mr Cookie Professor was standing outside of my classroom toward the end of lunch break talking to some of my fellow students. I jokingly reminded him that this wasn't his classroom, and asked what he was doing on my side of the hallway. He sarcastically replied that that very morning, he had been baking me cookies for a change, but ran out of sugar. So he decided to come to the neighbors class to borrow some. It was adorable, and I was proud to get a whole sentence out without blushing or running away! Although its still hard to make eye contact. But I'm getting much better at this the more I get to know him. So twice since then, I've seen him and he's asked me why I haven't brought him his cup of sugar yet.

So here's the plan. Cheesy and obvious, but I got nothing else. I plan on taking a plastic measuring cup with a lid, and putting exactly one cup of sugar in it. Then I will tie a ribbon around it to ensure it doesn't pop open or spill. And I will attach a note to the ribbon saying something about sugar and sweetness. I don't know exactly, I'll work out the details later. I will pass it to him in the morning inside a brown paper sack, which hopefully he won't open until I'm gone. We'll see where it goes from there.

Any better suggestions on more clever ways of flirting?

Did you hear that its illegal for women to pump gas?

Or at least thats the excuse I'm going with. I actually tried to get gas yesterday. But the gas station had little 'out of order' bags over all of their pumps. And I sincerely tried to make it to the next station. But it proved to be just too far away. So I ran out. And there I was, sitting on my motorcycle, at about 11:00 last night, on my way home from work. Stranded.

Now in my hometown in Georgia, in that situation, I would quickly be annoyed with the amount of people stopping to ask if I needed assistance. But here in the lovely city of Orlando, not a single Floridiot stopped in the HOUR I sat there. I had my hazard lights on, and I was just sitting there on the shoulder of an extremely busy street. Huge transfer trucks wouldn't even slow down when they passed me, even though it was loud and scarey and their force would blow me to the side. Probably 100 cars passed me in the time I sat there waiting for help, along with 4 bicyclists, and 1 cop. And not a single "are you okay?" or "can I help" or even a "hey... get the f* outa the way, woman!".

I think I would have felt differently about it if I had been in a car. Or if it had been daylight. But I have to say, the way it played out, just down right sucked! But I'm over it. I made it home safe and sound. And with enough time to get a whole 5 hours of sleep before school!

Now, here's your lesson to be learned from this. This comes with an explaination, but stick with me, and you'll learn something valuable. Learn from my mistakes! Isn't that what blogging is all about? Normally I put the high grade fuel in my bike. I don't know why. I guess because when I bought my bike, my ex told me thats what I should do. And its more expensive, so it has to be better, right? Well, the only difference in the fuels is the octane level. And octance is just fuel's resistance to detonation. So the expensive stuff, the higher octane, just burns slower. And when you're motor was made, it was made to work with a certain octane rating of fuel. So read your owners manual, and put the stuff your car calls for into it, even if its the cheap stuff. Your car will run better, and get better gas milage. Now, I don't know where my owner's manual is, so I don't know what I'm supposed to use. But I decided to try the mid-grade for once. See if there was a performance difference between it and the 93 octane. The only difference I found is that my gas milage got WAY crappier! So when I thought I had like 10 or so miles left before I was stranded, I was very wrong. And instead I was looking like an idiot calling my friends to save me. So lessen learned!

Hope this helps!

Lesson learned!

The most important thing I learned at school today is that you really have to be super careful with the high tech tools that mechanics use. It takes a steady, graceful hand and some very precise tools.

Today, at school, I worked on a Harley-Davidson V ROD motor. All I had to do was take the cam covers off, remove the cam caps, roll the cams to the side, pull out the buckets and shim, measure the shims, and reinstall it all. Sounds easy enough, right? If you know what I'm talking about that is...

Anyway, when I rolled my first cam back, I couldn't get it to stay in place. I was fighting it, and I just didn't have enough hands. So I grabbed my fancy cam keeper tool (thats what we're gonna call it, it was really a cheap plastic mechanical pencil) and the plan was to kinda jam it in there to hold the cam in place while I did my measuring.

It was a good plan, really. I had one of those moments where I thought I had it all figured out. I was gonna take the easy way out. Maybe get ahead on my work for the day. And it was all going so smoothly, until I dropped the pencil. Inside the motor. Thats right, I lost my pencil today inside a V ROD motor.

Now, its hard enough getting taken seriously as a girl in this industry. But how do I explain a hot pink pencil that fell down into the cases? Here's the best part, we couldn't see it, even with a flashlight. So my instructor said I didn't have to take the whole motor apart because he wasn't completely convinced the pencil was in there. The good news is that this bike will never be run. So no one is in danger. But someday, someone will find the prize inside the motor, and get a good laugh at my expense. Just like everyone in my class did today.

I'll just keep my head up, and laugh it off with them. It was kinda funny.... I guess.

Bravery or stupidity?

OMG OMG OMG! I did something very brave today. Extremely ballsy for me, considering I'm the type of person to sit back and wait for life to happen rather than go out and make it happen. All my past relationships have been from the man pursuing me. Almost every job I've had, the employer inquired about me before I even knew I wanted a job. These things just happen, and I go with the flow. No matter where it takes me. But not today!

I baked him a batch of cookies! This time they were basically the same as the previous oatmeal raisins. I didn't want to be redundant, but its what he said he wanted. So to make it different, I put dark chocolate chips in instead of the raisins. (they were amazing, I highly recommend trying this recipe out) And inside the container, I put a hallmark card. OMG! Can you beleive it? It may not sound like much, but its very unusual for me to do something to show someone any vulnerability or emotion. I addressed the envelope in a way that wouldn't make sense to you guys without explaining a little about him and his job, but I did put Mr. Hansom (and then the rest that wouldn't make sense). And I actually had the guts to give it to him!

I was on my way to the ladies' room to fix my hair in preperation of seeing him, when I ran into him in the hallway. He made small talk about how much he liked my jacket (leather riding gear since I had just gotten off of my bike... I can't beleive I looked so crappy). And I said kind of casually, like I had just remembered "Oh! I have something for you." The way I said it was not fitting at all for the situation. Anyway, I opened my backpack, and retreived the goods. After I handed it over he said "I would hug you if there weren't these other students watching". My face turned immediately red, I bit my lip, and made some excuse to walk away. Why do I always do that? I think I pretty much left him standing there in the hallway.

I ran to the bathroom, and talked to myself outloud about what had just happened. It was like shoppers remorse. You know, like when you buy a new Coach bag that you can't afford, cause its so pretty and smells so nice and leathery? Then you get in your car and feel a little nausaus? Thats how I felt... times a million! So I don't know if it was a mistake. We'll see I suppose. I kinda don't ever wanna have to face him again. Ugh... I'm so silly!

I've brought out the big guns...what do I do next?

So this is actually an update on a previous post I made about cookies and my teacher. You see, I brought him some more cookies, and I don't know what to do next. This is where you come in. Anyway, here are the cookies.



Big Gun Cookies (peanut butter with dark chocolate chips)

1/2 cup softened butter 1/2 cup peanut butter 1 cup packed brown sugar 1/2 cup white sugar 2 eggs 2 tablespoons light corn syrup 2 tablespoons water 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 cups dark chocolate morsils

I made these cookies, and brought them to his classroom. The same situation ensued. I couldn't really say anything to him. Its not that I am trying to pursue anything with this man. I don't even know him! Its just that this is the way I am around guys that I like. Or even think are cute. I freeze up and loose all sense of normalcy. For some reason, I just can't be myself. But this one in particular, for whatever reason, really makes me nervous. But I like to flirt, so I do it in whatever way I can find. Words just aren't my forte. Baking is.


So yesterday he asked me to come by his room sometime to pick up my tupperware so I could refill them with more cookies. I asked him what kind he wanted next, and he said he always has oatmeal raisin on the mind. So this morning I stopped by his classroom before school started. He was busy in the back of the room, but I could see the green lids of the containers on his desk, so I walked over there and picked them up. I looked over, and he was looking up at me, so I kinda held the containers up so he could see that I was taking them. He said "See ya later, Barrie" and I smiled and walked out. Without saying anything, of course. When I got back to my classroom, I opened my backpack to put the containers in it, when I noticed something in one of the bowls. So I popped it open, and there was an envelope sitting there. I flipped it over, and it was addressed to "Hot Cookie Baking Biker Chic". I lost my breath for a second! My whole face turned red, in front of the whole class. Luckily no one was paying attention to me. Inside the envelope was a hallmark card with a cute smiling bug on it, kind of a girly, purple card. Printed on the inside, it read "Just wanted to bring a smile your way. Thanks" and he had signed it.


Now, its natural for my woman brain to read to much into this, like we do with everything. Over analizing is a curse to many of us. (Trust me, we know we do it, we know it drives men nuts. We just can't help it) It was just a thank you card, right? It just means his mother raised him to be a polite young man, and thank someone when they do something nice for you or give you a gift. But he knows my name. He didn't have to write the 'hot' part on there. Why would he do that? Just being playful I guess. But what do I do next? How do I respond? Should I make him his refill, and sneak a little note in it? But I have no idea what I would say. Or how I would address it. I could leave it alone and do nothing. But thats not productive. Logically, I know that this sort of thing never happens in real life. He's not even allowed to associate with students outside of school. But in my own girly little way, it is kind of fun to day dream about what could happen. But of course, I don't wanna go out on a limb, and make a total ass of myself and then have to see him at school every day. But on the other hand, what if he does think I'm cute? What if he really could possibly be interested? And then I sat back and did nothing... lost opportunities and all that. WHAT DO I DO? Of course, I know what I'll do... nothing! Because I'm a wimpy scardy cat with no self esteem or confidence.

Sometimes I have strange dreams.

After school today, I took a nap. It was only for maybe an hour and a half. But during that nap, I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that I had the leading role in a new horror musical. And in the show, my big number was entitled "Dancing With My Elf Wolf". Do you think dreams really mean anything at all?

Also, last night I gave a guy I work with a ride home. His choices were to ride with me or to walk. Now, I don't have a car. All I have is my Harley. So let me just say, we got some strange looks with him riding on the back of my bike. The best part was that he wouldn't let me drop him off in front of his apartment. Aparently he didn't want his roommates seeing him riding bitch on fender of some chick's bike. Needless to say, I thought it was pretty funny.

Crushes and bribery.

My mother is the person who actually influenced me to start this blog. She said that since I've moved here, I call her constantly with strange or funny stories of things that happen. You know that scene in The Holy Grail where they go to Camelot to eat ham and jam and spam a lot? That's how Orlando feels to me. Just silly. Anyway, baking is very therapeutic for me. My close friends can tell I'm stressed if I'm bringing them cookies and pies more frequently than usual. And I've become known by students and teachers alike at school for bringing cookies to share with everyone. In fact, they're starting to expect them. And its because of my baking that I believe has made me more friends. Everyone is nicer to you when cookies are at stake. Some students say its bribery and that my grades stay so high because of them. Some of my peers even call me cookies. And each batch of cookies seems to come along with a story, as well. So I will start sharing my recipes along with the stories, and maybe they will bring you as many friends and as much luck as they have brought me.

Cupid Cookies (Oatmeal Raisin)

3/4 cups butter, softened
3/4 cups white sugar
3/4 cups packed light brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 3/4 cups rolled oats
1 cup raisins

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a large bowl, cream together butter, white sugar, and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in eggs and vanilla until fluffy. Stir together flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt. Gradually beat in butter mixture. Stir in oats and raisins gradually and alternating. Bake 8 to 10 minutes. And place a good distance apart, because these suckers will spread!

Now, I've never made oatmeal raisin cookies before in my life. But my last rotation in school was Machine Shop. And I think my teacher is so cute! He's really intellegent and has the best sense of humor. He wears a different belt buckle every day, and has those cute Buddy Holly glasses. I knew pretty instantly that I had sort of a crush on him. Which is bad. And which also means that I can't speak to him at all! And if I do, I studder and say something really bland and usually obvious, then trip over a chair or run into a door. Because I'm smooth and graceful. NOT!

So he finds out about my cookies, and I asked him what kind of cookies were his favorite. Oatmeal raisin. I've never made those, but I figured I'd give it a shot. I was hoping these cookies would act as my own cupid, making him see how sweet and sensitive and funny and wonderful I am. So after I wasn't in his class anymore, I scrounged up some money and bought the ingrediants. I stayed up late one school night to bake them. After they were cooled and packaged, I layed in bed attempting to sleep. But I couldn't. All I could do was go through scenerios in my head of how I would present him the cookies. I imagined what I would say, then he would reply something cute, and I would be clever and witty and he would fall in love with me instantly. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, ya know. So I finally slept a little. I woke up early, got ready for school, spending extra time on my hair, making sure I looked my best for the big day.

I got to school early, and went into his classroom. When I walked through the door, his classroom was already full of his new students, and there he was sitting at his desk. He looked up and said something to me, but I couldn't hear him over the sound of blood rushing in my ears and my heart pounding. I was concentrating on every movement I made so I wouldn't make a fool of myself. All the sudden my arms each weighed a hundred pounds. And I don't remember eating cotton balls for breakfast! I unzipped my backpack, and before he even saw me reach in, he started sniffing around the air. He remembered our discussion! He pays attention to me? God he's cute.... I sat the cookies on his desk, and he smiled and said I was working on being his favorite student. This is it! This is my opportunity to say something so witty and so irresistably charming, he'll think about it all day and won't be able to live without me! So my lips parted, and through a girlish grin I sputtered "Thanks Mr (Country Music Loving Adorable Motorcycle Enthusiast of my Dreams). See ya later." (of course I really only said his name) I picked up my backpack and speed walked to the door as fast as my legs would take me. I reached a clammy shaking hand out, opened the door, and haven't seen him since. No wonder I'm so irresistable to the opposite sex!

Intro

So I guess I skipped the obligatory introduction blog we're supposed to write. I don't even know where to start. Its kind of hard to find words to describe my life and where its ended up and exactly why. Especially when I'm not even quite sure. For a long time, I thought I had everything figured out. My life had been heading in one direction, and I always thought that's what I wanted and that I was happy. But who really actually has it all figured out at 22? No one, that's who. And if they say they do, just give it time, because their world will crash down same as mine did. I had a full time job, not a career, but a job. I had a home with a loving man. The plan was for me to quit my job after the wedding and be a full time mom. We didn't have much, but we had friends and family and a nice simple home. And then one day he was heading home early from work, riding down the road on his Harley. Not a cloud in the sky, in a great mood, until someone didn't see him and pulled out and t-boned him. He survived, but barely. I'll make this part of the story short. We moved in with his parents and it was six months before he walked again. And let me just say, living with the in-laws is NEVER healthy for a relationship. No matter how in love you are or how long you've been in this relationship. And eventually it broke us, the fighting and awkwardness. He was never the same again after the accident. And I haven't been either, nor do I think I ever will be. So I moved in with my grandmother. And I tried to piece together my life and try to figure out how to be one again. Then I went to work one day and the big boss came down to say my "job has been eliminated". Eliminated? Really? That easy? All the years with this company, working, selling, organizing, hiring, firing and I can be eliminated? Discarded like a used napkin? Like some asshole in a corner office just said, "You know what? I want more money. Where can we cut some slack? Everyone with this job title is superfluous. Give 'em the axe. Papa needs a new Audi." And I'm done. Its not about the crap job. Those are a dime a dozen. But how many times can a girl be rejected in that time frame? So here I was, 24. Unemployed, single, and living with my grandmother. What a catch, right? I didn't know what to do. So I thought, why not sell my car, pack my things, and move to Florida where I know no one, and go to mechanics school, where I'm completely unprepared? Sounds good! So here I am. When I started school, I barely knew that something that's carbureted wasn't made to drink. But I'm learning every day and getting through with a 4.0 GPA. I have no idea where I will go when I graduate or even if I really wanna be a motorcycle mechanic when I grow up. I have 45 weeks left of school. Although I'm tired and wanna go home. And its a struggle every day to not miss my ex and to not call him. And its a struggle to work full time for pennies and barely make rent. The good news is, I've lost a little weight because I can't really afford to eat! Anyway, that's where I am now. One day at a time.

My new hog.

A clown came into my store today! Unfortunately, it wasn't a zombie clown, but a clown is a clown. They still make me smile. Instead of making us a baloon animal, he made us a baloon harley. I would love to learn to do this, but knowing would take the magic away. Like when you find out how stuff glows in the dark, I'd rather stay in the dark about that one. Anyway... this made my day. Big pants, big shoes, big fun!

Zombies

I work in a retail store on the big tourist strip in town. Today was the kick off for a weekend convention of zombie/horror flicks. The kick off event was held in the parking lot of my shopping center. To start it off, there was an all zombie performance of Michael Jackson's Thriller. Then a zombie march down the strip and back, ending at a hotel across the street for the convention. So all day I've had zombies shopping in my store. Zombie reporters, zombie doctors, zombie hunters, zombie marines, zombie tennis players, zombie hookers, zombies on stilts, zombies in kilts (didn't mean to rhyme), zombie Elvis, zombie Michael Jackson, a Santa zombie, a girl scout zombie, zombie children, zombie infants, and one family with a zombie dog on a leash. I ate in a restraunt among zombies. I waited in line at Walgreens while a zombie purchased ciggarettes. Zombies buying Orlando souveniers. I even saw a zombie getting their future told by the psychics next door! I have to say, these have been some of the nicest undead I've ever met!

Injury

I injured my finger today. Just my pinky, not an important finger. But it bled a little, and looked kinda gross. And all day people kept asking me what happened. Did I slip while trying to turn a wrench and cut my finger on a sharp peice of the motor? Did I accidentally touch the exhaust while draining the oil? No, it was nothing cool. I accidentally kneed a concrete table when attempting to stand up. Luckily, my pinky was there to protect my favorite pair of jeans!

Morning commute.

I ride to school every morning on my motorcycle at about 6:15 am. This morning a truck decided they wanted to be in my lane, regardless of whether or not I was currently using it. I avoided the accident by kind of swerving to the side and speeding up, and the truck saw me at the last minute. But when I arrived at school, a past instructor stopped me in the hallway to tell me he witnessed the whole incident, and that I lost bonus points for having not given them the "one fingered blinker". Thats one way of thinking of it, I suppose. But I was in a good mood, listening to Carole King on my ipod. Who can have an attitude to Natural Woman? Not this chick!