I got my first B in school :o(

So I'm almost done with what they call Motorcycle Training Program. Which is pretty insignificant. But it does mean that I start my Harley Davidson specific electives in a mere two and a half weeks! Yay! The good news is, that in the past four weeks, I haven't repeted any of the following mistakes: worn my school uniform shirt inside out for the entire day, fallen asleep sitting standing or driving, sat on the floor pouting because I couldn't change an ATV tire, pinched a tire tube, slept through my alarm, been caught texting in class, tucked my work shirt into my pants AND UNDERWEAR, attempted to install exhaust backwards, run out of gas, and last, but most importantly, lost a writing untensil inside my motor! So I think I'm doing pretty good lately!

And the best news of all is that my dad is coming to visit! He is a misfit, like me. So he, myself, and some fellow misfits from school are having our own strange get-together at my tiny apartment. I don't even own a dining set. So we will be enjoying our Thanksgiving supper on a fold up card table covered in a white table clothe and served on cheap IKEA dishes. It should be a holiday to remember!

By the way....I know I haven't updated about this lately....and I think its cause I'm so nervous. Can I say this outloud? I really wanna shout it from the rooftops, but I know I can't. I feel confined, and forced to be muted. Which is so unlike me. I'm loud and energetic. So this is the only forum I have to say this....cover your ears, this might be kinda loud. MR COOKIE PROFESSOR KISSED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, Happy Holidays, everyone. Till next time....

Somehow I just grew some balls.

This is big news! I baked some more cookies. Which means... I have another recipe to share! And this is the best one yet. I can't believe this is actually happening to me! Okay... I made homemade fortune cookies. The recipe only makes six. And only three were successful. Inside one I put a note that said "For future cookie orders..." and another I wrote "or just to stay in touch" and in the last one only had my phone number! OMG thats so brave! So here's how you make them.

Make Your Own Fortune Cookies

1 egg white
1/8 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 pinch salt
1/4 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
1/4 cup white sugar

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Butter a cookie sheet at least in the two sections you will use. Write some ballsy fortunes on sheets of paper about 4 inches long and maybe 1/2 inch wide.

Mix the egg white and vanilla until foamy but not stiff. Sift the flour, salt, and sugar and blend into the egg white mixture.

This is where it gets tough. Gotta have the right touch. Place two teaspoonfuls pretty far apart on buttered cookie sheet. Then kinda tap it and manipute the dough into discs about 3 inches in diameter.

Bake for 5 minutes. Pull them out and have the fortunes prepared. Use a wide spatula to pry one up, and put it upside down on a flat surface. Put a fortune in the middle, and fold it in half. Then use the side of your measuring cup to fold it in half again on the flat side. Then place it in an egg carton so it will retain its shape until its cooled. Be quick about it so you can get to the next before it cools. They harden quickly. Only do as many at a time as you can shape. Just depends on how quick your hands are.




AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED??? He actually used the phone number. Only a few hours after I gave him the cookies. I slyly slid into his room during class and left them on his desk. Then later I got a text message. OMG. I freaked out. He said my cookies were amazing, just like me. EEK! He thinks I'm amazing. Long story short, we texted for a while. And he asked if I do private cookie baking tutoring. I'm so excited and nervous. This kind of stuff doesn't happen in real life. I can't beleive he actually likes me. This is amazing. Too good to be true. My head is spinning. I don't even know what to say. The english language doesn't have words that can articulate how I feel right now. I'll post more later when I'm calmer.

Some days are harder than others.

I just wanted to say that I'm still alive. Its been a strange couple of weeks here. The weather is finally changing. I think we're done with the 90 degree days here. And no matter where you are or when the season change happens, the transition from warm, beautiful days to cold and gray ones always changes peoples emotions. Some people tend to get more sensitive and needy where as other get reclusive and sad. Personally, I'm the cuddly cold weather type. But its strange how people want relationships more this time of year. Whether it be friendships or more.

But this year for me its extra strange. I'm broke beyond belief. My cell phone got cut off for the first time in my whole life. I've never been this desperate before. And the guy who is my best friend here at school is now saying he has 'feelings' for me. Why do people have to go and ruin something really good? I probably wouldn't have if I was intoxicated at the time, but I told him the truth. I told him that he's a nice guy and that I love our time together, but that I have a silly school girl crush on someone else. I could never date him when what I really want is Mr Cookie Professor. Which is ridiculously silly, because its never going to happen. But I couldn't really be with anyone right now, because my heart wouldn't be completely theirs. I don't know why I feel such a connection to Mr Cookie Professor, but I do. If I go a few days without seeing him, I start wondering why I'm being so silly. But as soon as he smiles at me with those sexy mushy lips, I melt. Girls are so silly.

Speaking of him, I saw him today. He stopped me when I was riding away from school. So I stopped and turned my bike off to talk to him for a minute. He called me his sugar mama. A little joke from my last gift. It was the first time maybe ever that we've had a conversation without anyone around. He said he did put that sugar to use. He said he tried to make a cake, but baking just isn't his forte. He said he'd keep trying to make me something. I think I might make him something this afternoon, if I do I'll post more about that later, including recipe as usual.

Anyway, the worst part of all is being so poor. But I guess that's part of being in college. My best friend is having a c section on Saturday. She really wants me to come home for the weekend and take care of her daughter while she's in the hospital and meet the new baby boy. And I want to more than anything. But I just can't afford it. And it makes me want to cry. I haven't even told her yet. I'm holding out hoping that something will come up and I'll be able to go. But logically, I know its not going to happen. And I really need to tell her. But I don't know how. I really feel like I need to be there for her. I always have been. And she's always been there for me. Its bad enough that I moved 550 miles away. Now I can't even be around for the birth of her baby?

Sometimes I just wonder what I'm doing here. I'm sad and alone and broke. I have no car, no real local friends and a crappy job. The only thing going for me is that I'm still doing okay in school. And I have to remember that's really why I'm here. I'm paying $30,000 in tuition to do this, so I have to finish. And I better be good at it! I don't mean to be depressing. I'll get over this funk. Maybe its just the blustery, gloomy weather. Now I have to ride to work and hope it doesn't rain!

Confession...

I kissed a boy. On halloween. A boy that wasn't Mr Cookie Professor. Its kind of weird. I was annebriated. He goes to school with me. I didn't even see it coming. But aparently he did. I don't know quite what to think or say about it. I guess I really don't even know how to feel about it. I'm not the kind of girl that just goes around getting drunk and making out with her friends. Anyway... more on that to come after I've had time to think.