Strange parallels

I'm obsessing over Julie Powell! Yesterday I finished her new novel, Cleaving. It was strange to read my feelings and almost identical situations from my life written by someone else in a novel about someone else. I am really tempted to google stalk her until I find an email address, and then send her creepy e-fan mail expressing my feelings of parallelism with her life and mine. I'm sure she gets it 300 times a day. I wonder though, how much of her work is autobiographical?

Mulla

Today I was cleaning my apartment in preperation for my boo's parents' impending visit. They're coming this weekend from Missouri. I found an old envelope from the bank. I walked toward the trash bag in the middle of the room containing miscelanious other findings from a pack rat. I though the envelope felt thick, and assuming it held a receipt within. As I peeled back the thin walls of the envelope, within laid a treasure I never expected. Right there, as green as the palm trees visible through my screened in balcony, laid three whole dollars! Now I'm unemployed, so three dollars opens up a world of excitement, imagination, and possibility. I think I'll use it to do one load of laundry. Is it fate that the amound I found is the exact cost to wash and dry one load? To this hopeless daydreaming romantic, I'm gonna say YES it is!!!

Quick update

I know its been a while, but my life has been swept up in a tornado and tossed around. I'm trying to replace everything to normal, but its harder than I thought.

Well, I lost my job. Apparently they frown on texting on the job. The story they gave me is that the big boss over all the stores does random checks of our security tapes. And she caught me using my phone on the sales floor. Which is no big deal, really, because I was unhappy there anyway.

The big negative is that it was a job at Harley Davidson. It was just at their retail store, and I basically spent my days folding tee shirts. But it was still a job with the company. Now, I go to school to be a Harley Davidson mechanic. So I got fired from the company that I'm paying $30,000 to go to school to learn how to work for. So I'm sure that won't look good on my resume.

I'm sure it will all work out, though. I'm the go with the flow type of girl. Take it easy. Everything happens for a reason, right? I truely beleive that. I just try to be the best person that I can and trust with blind faith that everything will fall into its rightful place. And it usually does, in a strange way.

Rusty and I are still together. He moved into my apartment to help me financially. It will be much cheaper for both of us to just live together. Even though we've only been dating a few months.

I feel like our relationship is being rushed. Pushed faster than most should, which adds more stress to it. We moved in together faster than normal for financial reasons. But mostly what is pushing us is our impending decision. I graduate in the beginning of October, and he will graduate six weeks later in mid December. And then we have to leave Orlando and go start a life. Do we do that together and continue our relationship? He's from Missouri and I'm from Georgia. So if we were to stay together, we'd have to mutually agree on a place to live and both find jobs there (which is the same job for the same company...what are the chances?). We were thinking Tennessee because its a good half way point between our home towns. But the thought is still scary. I'm also a little scared of not choosing him and always wondering what if...

Anyway, thats enough for now. More to come soon. I hope you all enjoy your holiday weekend, and be safe!

My uterus.

Today is three weeks since my motorcycle accident. I can't beleive its gone that fast. And I'm almost all healed up. Kind of. Still have to bandange my elbows and one knee, but thats it. But while I was in the hospital, they had to run all kinds of tests on me to ensure there was no internal bleeding or broken bones.

After my MRIs and x-rays and CT scans, the doctor came in to give me the results. He said everything was great... as far as the accident is concerned. No injured organs or bones. But that he did see that my uterus is misshapen and I should go to my obgyn to have more conclusive tests done. He called it a bicorneal uterus.

Now I am one of those women who feels its their purpose in life to procreate. Although I may never do anything significant in my life, I will raise the most wonderful, smart, creative, perfect children who will be more influencial than I could ever be. Thats my contribution to the world. And my ex and I could never have kids. We thought he was the problem, which may be true, because he was married before me and they couldn't either. We were both supposed to have fertility tests, but just before our appointments, he was in a near fatal bike accident, and we never did. Now I know what I would have found out.

So I've been too scared to research my uterus. Its kind of the flamingo theory. If I don't see it, its not there. But this morning I finally was brave enough to sit down and do it. Then I cryed and called my mother. If you can get pregnant with this condition, only 63% of those pregnancies result in live birth. Thats a huge chance of miscarriage! I don't know if I can handle that. I don't know if I can handle any of this. I know its too early to freak out, because I haven't even seen my obgyn. Thats the next step. But I'm even afraid to do that. And its not like I'm trying to have kids anyway. I'm no married, and have no plan to be anytime soon. But its till a very scary thing to go through.

And I feel so alone with it. I'm so far from home. No one to really talk to. Rusty tells me not to worry. Just to see the doctor. He doesn't even want to talk about it. He's not too sensitive about it at all. But he's a man. He doesn't understand, and I shouldn't expect him to. Besides, he has two kids and doesn't really know whether he wants more. So his insight isn't the one I need right now anyway. I need my best friend from back home, Hope. She is my comforst zone. I'm just really scared right now.

Healing up nicely.

Honestly, my skin looks pretty nasty. But its suprising how quickly I've been healing. Even the doctors are amazed. But now I'm in the itchy stage. Which to me, is almost the most torturous thing imaginable.

You see, the road rash is spread randomly over my entire body. My legs, my stomach, my sides, my bike, and mostly my arms. And not only are the wounds itching, but the skin around them that gets bandaged itches from the tape and lack of air. And to top it off, I had a reaction to one of the meds or something, because I'm getting an itchy rash on my thighs and upper arms! So just imagine it...my entire body is engulfed in this extreme tingly itching sensation that I'm not allowed to scratch.

I have woken up in mid scratch, or with Rusty holding my arms and telling me to stop. It takes a lot of self control, and I have to admit that I do endulge myself from time to time with a little scratch. But it ends with either burning or bleeding or leaves red marks and Rusty knows what I've done!

Tonight he has promised me a pedicure. He's like the best friend a girl could have. No matter what we're doing, we make the best of it. We just click. He shops with me. Loves going to the mall. He'll hold my purse when I need both arms. We sit on benches and people watch. He's promised to take me roller skating when I heal. And he doesn't watch sports! He almost seems too good to be true. I don't think I'll be able to go back to normal boys if we ever break up. I'm just so happy with him. More to come later on my bliss...for now I'll go back to trying to restrain my fingers from satisfying this never ending itch....

Wrecked my bike

Saturday I was in a motorcycle accident. I'm not gonna go into too many details on what happened. Lets just say that I'm extremely lucky. Not a single broken bone and no internal damage either. The only thing that happened is that my body is covered in road rash. So I'm bandaged up like a mummy.

Now road rash hurts worse than I imagined. I just opened up nerve ending all over my body that sting and burn constantly. And poor Rusty has to change my bandages twice a day every day. He also cooks, cleans, feeds me, massages lotion onto the skin thats not hurt too bad, sponge bathes me, goes to school full time and is still holding down his full time job. All while retaining his cheery disposition. I couldn't ask for more. I owe him more than I could imagine repaying.

I did have to take a leave of absence from school. But at least I'm alive. One day at a time, ya know? I am frustrated though, and very tired. I had to go back to work today. Which is where I am now. And thats very hard for me. I just want to sleep all the time but even sleeping hurts. And I can't even afford the guaze that I'm using every day so I have to work.

My lesson here is ALWAYS where gloves on a bike! Even if its hot, just buy the fingerless type. The skin on the palms of your hands is so sensitive, and its not fun at all to loose it! Learn from my mistakes...

BTW...that picture is of Rusty and me waiting to see a doctor for a follow up appointment about my wounds. The doctor loved us! We fake bickered and picked on each other the whole time. We were so playful, even she started making jokes with us. I love meeting people that you just click with instantly. She said its not ever day you get a coupld in quite like us. Haha. A compliment, I hope.

I don't wanna grow up...

So my new boo has a name. I never disclosed Cookie Professors name because his job was at stake. But boo, he's at no risk. His name is Rusty. And he doesn't know about the blog. I really don't want him reading all about my feelings for CP.

Well Rusty and I had the most unique date I've ever been on in my entire life, or most likely ever will. It was a childish, illegal, and most of all, the most relaxing, fun night I've had in a long time! I suggest that anyone as stressed as I have been should try this.

I don't smoke marijuana. I'm indifferent to it, really. I've tried it, and never really liked it. But I have friends who do it almost daily. I do beleive it should be legal, for many reasons that I will not go in to now. But somehow he convinced me to. Although, he doesn't really do it either. And the experience must truely be based on who you share it with. Because I had the giggly, happy high people describe, but I've never had the joy of experiencing.

Next we went on an adventure to a seven eleven. I have to say the rows of coolers full of endless choices of soda were overwhelming. And I don't think I've ever been so thirsty! And what kind of candy goes with root beer anyway, where I to choose root beer? And do I want chips too? Where'd Rusty go... You get the point. The clerks had to know.

Our last stop for the evening was my apartment. Where we built a fort that covered most of my living room out of blankets, chairs, and tables. We filled the fort with cushions and pillows and told stories and giggled most of the night away. Then we fell asleep watching the movie Legend.

We definately had a mess to clean up the next day. And I found gummy bears in the weirdest places. But we had a great time. Rusty is so sensitive and fun. He's like a best friend and a boyfriend in one. I'm very happy these days.